Taboo News

Russia Plays God

Attempting to control summer weather, the Russian Air Force has seeded clouds with a combination of cement, silver iodide and liquid nitrogen. The concoction is supposed to rid the air of moisture. One bag of cement failed to explode, however, and made a large hole in a woman's roof. She rejected compensation and intends to sue the government for moral suffering.

A Grass Roots Band

Filipinos have been putting a twist on the traditional brass band for generations. They have been playing bambo instruments since the first revolutionary uprising against Spanish colonial soldiers. The instruments were used as a show of support. The trick to playing them they say is not blowing air, but knowing how to sing.

No More 'Guess Your Food'

English-speaking visitors in Beijing for the Olympic Games this summer will have no problems ordering in Chinese restaurants. Officials are encouraging restaurant owners to create less extreme-sounding English translations of Chinese dishes. For example, "chicken without sexual life" is now "steamed pullet".

Eternal Maiden Actualization (EMA)

The old girlfriend won't be able to compete! Soon guys will get a 38cm female companion who will even help them network. She blows kisses, sings, wiggles her behind for her master's pleasure and will even hand out your business cards. The game company Sega invented the humanoid female called EMA (Eternal Maiden Actualization). The sexy robot uses infrared sensors to detect humans nearby. Target market? Lonely men over 20 years old.

Icelandic Boasts Large Penis Collection

Sigurdur Hjartarson, founder of the Icelandic Phallological Museum, plans to add four human male penises to his collection on the owners' death. Hjartarson began his hobby of collecting male members in 1974. Starting with a single bull's penis, his collection has since grown to 261 preserved members from 90 different species. The largest is from a sperm whale and is 1.7m long; the smallest is from a hamster and only measures 2 mm. Sixty percent of visitors to the museum in Husavik are women.

Computers Now Read Dogs' Minds

A technology firm called Bio-Sense in Tel-Aviv, Israel has joined forces with the prison services there to interpret dogs' barks. The company developed software that is able to distinguish types of barks by reading a dog's stress level. A sensor is placed within 15 yards of a dog and its bark transmitted and read in a prison control room. The gravity of the bark is based on how high the dog's stress level is. With this information, guards may react more quickly to an escape attempt. The technology was developed because guards were not hearing or not reacting quickly enough to their barking dogs.

Canadian Sex Game Gone Wrong

A Canadian man asked his partner to carve a heart in his chest during a drunken, rough sex game. His lover went too far, however, and accidentally pressed down hard enough to pierce the man’s heart. The 24-year-old man has since fully recovered from his severe injury while his partner has received three years probation.

Hello Kitty Gets Her Props

The world famous feline from Japan has been adding cute to children's and women's accessories for years. She is frequently seen on pencils, bags, books and numerous items of clothing, over 50,000 products in 60 different countries. Well on Monday, the kitty was named government envoy and will represent Japan in China and Hong Kong. China and Hong Kong account for the second largest group of tourists in Japan. Hello Kitty currently has her own musical "Hello Kitty's Dream Light Fantasy" touring nationally in China, and when she is not working lives in London with her family.

Donkey Delivery Service

Villagers of Chalford in Gloucestershire, England long complained they needed help getting their shopping home. The narrow village pathways made homes inaccessible by car. A local came up with the idea of using rented eco-friendly donkeys to carry people's goods home. The plan will be implemented in six months when the donkeys are trained.

Rip-Off Ferraris?

Cheap designer knock-offs are one thing, but police in Sicily recently discovered a mafia-owned factory producing fake Ferraris. The Telegraph reports that seven cars were seized, along with £350,000 worth of machinery, tools and cash. Either a Pontiac Fiero or a Toyota MR2 would be stripped down and fitted with a mix of genuine Ferrari spares and fibre panels, before being sold on the internet and at dodgy second-hand car dealers across Italy.

Privates Off Limits: No Ball Games For Italians

It is a criminal offence for Italians to touch their genitals in public, according to the country's highest appeal court. The court in Rome was ruling on the unsuccessful appeal of a Como workman convicted of "ostentatiously touching his genitals through his clothing", reports the Guardian. The decision could have far-reaching (pun intended) implications for the average Italian, who superstitiously greets a passing hearse with a quick grab at his, er, attributi.

Bourne Again: Matt Damon signs up for 4th Film

Rumour (and Variety) has it that Matt Damon has signed up to reprise his role as amnesiac killing machine Jason Bourne. British director Paul Greengrass, who helmed the last two instalments in the Bourne series, has also reportedly put pen to paper for the fourth, supposedly called The Bourne Eternity. Hard-to-kill assassin Bourne has thus survived even his creator Robert Ludlum, the writer of the original trilogy of novels on which the movies are (loosely) based. Ludlum died in 2001. In 2004, Eric Van Lustbader wrote The Bourne Legacy, book with the same characters.

Long and Short of it: Small People Live Longer

Tall people often look down on those shorter than them, but the vertically challenged could have the last laugh with news that they live longer than their lofty peers. Scientists have identified an anti-ageing gene in those who live to over 100 that produces less growth hormone but also extends their lifespan by as much as a third. According to the Telegraph, the oldest recorded person was Frenchwoman Jeanne Louise Calment, who died in 1997 at the age of 122. She was 4ft 11in.

Cheapskate Husband Pays it with Flowers

Pity the Iranian man who has been forced to pay his wife a dowry of 124,000 red roses after she took him to court over his "very stingy" ways. "Shortly after marriage I realised that my husband was very cheap. He even refused to pay for my coffee if we went to a café," said the man's hard-done-by bride. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the man claimed he could only afford five roses a day, the flowers costing the equivalent of about £1 in Teheran. According to the Telegraph, under Iranian law a wife can claim a dowry from her husband at any time - even when getting a divorce.

Masseuses told to padlock pants

Indonesia's East Java province is attempting to curb prostitution by asking masseuses to wear a pants padlock. Women's rights activists are protesting the recently implemented policy in the tourist area of Batu as insulting, according to Reuters. Indonesia's flourishing sex industry, where massage parlours are frequently a front for prostitution, has led to vigorous debates over morality in the Southeast Asian Muslim nation.

Germany putting the brakes on speeding

Bremen became the first state in Germany to introduce a speed limit on its motorways, breaking a taboo (wink, wink) in a country proud of its fast cars. The 120 kph limit in Bremen will affect just 60 km of road because the city state is so small.

So speed demons, book your tickets fast! Reinhard Loske, Bremen's local government minister, says the goal is to eventually introduce a general speed limit on motorways nationwide.

Happy Hour Taxes not really an oxymoron.

In Hoboken, New Jersey doing your taxes has become a social event. Certified public accountant, Carmine Sodora offers his services in local bars for 10 weeks leading up to the April 15 deadline to submit U.S. income tax returns. In 2005, Sodora founded "Tavern Tax" so that on weekday nights and weekend afternoons people can take care of business while they sip on a beer. In an interview with a Reuters reporter Sodora said, "I always say to people, 'Where's your beer? I can't have one but you can."

Dry cleaner gives same-day service to thieves

A dry-cleaning shop owner in Papua New Guinea has found a unique way of encouraging thieves to clean up their behaviour: giving them a steam cleaning.

Police in the northeast coastal town of Lae said a 20-year-old man suffered burns and scalding to his abdomen, chest and back after the owner turned a steam cleaner on him after he was caught stealing pants worth 14 kina (U$5.50).

Reuters reports that Police seemed unconcerned about the radical punishment and released the thief after being assured he had learned his lesson. Commissioner Lewin, are you taking notes?

Losers Weepers

Russian car cleaners got a surprise this week when they cleaned out a vacuum cleaner: a diamond pendant worth up to 300,000 euros (U$475,400). Vladimir Shapiro, owner of the car cleaning firm in Russia's northern city of St Petersburg, told Reuters that he would return the pendant to it's rightful owner.

Every Harry Potter Book Up For Sale

A Harry Potter fan who has amassed over 533 first-edition volumes in 63 languages will soon be "Rowling" in it after deciding to part with his collection, reports the Times. The books, scheduled to be sold 28 February by Bloomsbury Auctions, are expected to fetch £40,000. The 33-year-old enthusiast began collecting every single Harry Potter book back in 2002.

Microsoft Opens Door For DIY Games

Microsoft has announced a service that will allow Xbox users to share homemade games over the internet. The company freely distributes software tools that let amateurs try their hand at developing, but now they will be able to distribute their work through Xbox Live. "Ten million people will be able to play your games," said Microsoft's Chris Satchell at the Game Developers Conference in San Francisco. A sequel to the hugely popular game Gears Of War is also in the pipeline, it was revealed.

Who Needs a Bimmer

Swiss company, Rinspeed has come up with an ingenious way of avoiding rush hour traffic. This James Bond-style submersible car, powered by electric motors, can be driven down to 10ft underwater, and was inspired by the Lotus Elite driven by Roger Moore in The Spy Who Loved Me. With that kind of style who needs a Bimmer?

Not-So-Complimentary Meal

Some British diners found their bill somewhat hard to swallow - not least because it contained an unexpected and sexually explicit item. Sandwiched between "1 Cab Sauv Glass, £4.00" and "1 Fish cakes, £4.95" was the immortal line "1 SUCK MY D**K F**K FACE, £0.00". The owner said the message was meant to be a private joke between two members of staff, and has invited the group to return for a free meal, reports the Telegraph.

No Smoke Without a Fire Extinguisher

An anti-smoking German man was so incensed by his girlfriend's habit that he used a fire extinguisher to put out her cig - while she was smoking it. According to Reuters, the man sprayed her and most of the apartment with foam, shouting obscenities as he did so, after his partner ignored his entreaties not to smoke. "He said he wasn't bothered by the damage it caused," said a police spokesman. "And that he's through with his girlfriend." Anger management counselling seems to be in order.

Prostitutes Incorporated

The world's oldest profession may now be legitimate in Canada. A group of prostitutes there won the right to incorporate themselves and create a safer environment for "working girls." Susan Davis, a development co-ordinator for what will be called the West Coast Co-Operative of Sex Industry Professionals, told Reuters: "It defines a structure for us to work together as a community." said. Brothels are illegal in Canada, but the prostitution laws have recently been challenged as unconstitutional.